In A Dark Forest

A poem, by headlamp -
sitting on the roots of a giant
Evergreen tree,
couched on soft pine needles,
lost wisdom between my ears.

An elegant ritual,
drawn out like a Quiksilver orgasm,
warping, wefting, and weaving,
a tapestry of light.

Backwards, forwards,
up and down, the loom
bucks;
snatching threads from the past, hinting
at the future,
like a gypsy in Jackson Square.

In the weave, daydreams
manifest, rippling
like a desert mirage, hanging in the air.
A subtle glance, a sideways smile,
the velvet of night.
Stars taking on new forms, new
significances.
A bejewelled peacock;
A clockwork mechanism;
An archangel, wings unfurled, flaming sword
held high.

Here beneath the canopy,
here on the damp
undergrowth,
Here, perched on the
precipice, i can see
the graceful trajectory.

I can see the succession of successes
and failures:
endless, sleepless nights
heart full of wordless prayers and silent tears.

Yearning for my self,
Yearning for the beloved, like
a sailor, mourning his lost limb.
Yearning for the sincerity of youth,
and the ability to stand on my own two feet.

Incidentally, my eyes sprung open, wide.
Miraculously, the angels heard my cries.
Eyes flown wide, to Paradise.

I remembered black lakes at night;
I remembered the dark desert;
I remembered driving miles and miles and miles,
thousands of miles.

I remembered surging, muddy rivers, powerful
as bulls;
I remembered mountains and peaks, gleaming
skeletal in the moonlight.
I remembered mountain meadows, full of tiny
wildflowers, and thousands of creeks, tinkling
like silver bells.

I remembered hushed conversations beside
the hallucinogenic embers of dying fire.
I remembered voices joined in song.

I remembered train tracks,
and graffiti.
I remembered fallen soldiers,
fallen by the wayside.
I remembered 5 years of Death staring me down,
in the red-rimmed gaze of my own reflection.

I remembered night after night after night after night
of Music;
Dancing;
Sweating,
Ears ringing.
Eyes Blackened, eyeliner
running,
a melted harlequin on the beach at sunrise.

I remembered the boy that i used to be
I remembered the Man that i have suddenly
become
I remembered myself,
my vastness
Dwarfing oceans,
containing them, surrounding them,
Breathing, like spiral galaxies,
nebulae, my numinous
possibilities.

Pyramids were built
to commemorate this moment
a soul coming awake to itself.

Sitting here, surrounded by chirping cicadas
and whooping owls,
i tip my hat
to all the hobo prophets
and heavy-metal heroes,
that helped bring me here.
The sainted farmers
and martyred junkies.

Here's to the marble giants,
whose footsteps have been too large to fill.

I sing a song, to myself, here
in the quiet;
ears ringing
heart singing
A Beethoven Crescendo,
A Satie refrain.
Singing like Yardbird,
but dark and blue, like Robert Johnson
like the ocean.

Here, and forever,
I AM FREE

The bars of the invisible cage
have sprung

I step out of the darkness
into actual daylight.